From emass@primenet.com Tue Apr 08 12:55:13 1997 Subject: NEW: Intentions and Unexpected Results (1/2) From: Esther Massimini -------- DATE: April 8, 1997 TITLE: NEW: Intentions and Unexpected Results (1/2) AUTHOR: Esther Massimini EMAIL ADDRESS: emass@primenet.com DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Archive where ever you like, just keep my name with it. SPOILER WARNING: Everything up through "Memento Mori." Takes place in the future after "Memento Mori." RATING: PG for mild language. CONTENT WARNING: MSR. Mrs. Scully angst, Mulder angst. CLASSIFICATION: S, R, A SUMMARY: Mrs. Scully ponders her daughter's future after her cancer is successfully treated. In light of the disturbing news Mulder discovered at Lombard, she comes up with some ideas for Scully with the best of intentions. However, her disclosure of these to Mulder leads to unexpected results. DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and characters belong to FOX, Chris Carter, 1013. I am not making any money from this story. I have a great job as an engineer, thank you! No infringements are intended. ****** It had been all she could think of, ever since the day she found out the worst truth. Fox Mulder had come over, gently explaining he could no longer put off telling Dana the awful truth he had discovered. And he wanted to talk with her first, so that both of them could tell her, together. Margaret Scully was devastated. Now that Dana's cancer was in remission, she dared hope her daughter would finally be able to resume a normal life. There was reason for hope. Recently, she'd noticed how healthy Dana was starting to look. Her gaunt look was replaced with soft fullness, her face glowed, her hair was growing back, and she was smiling a lot more. And Dana's eyes -- the sparkle and shine were finally back! Then, Fox's news that Dana was infertile as a result of the experiments she had suffered during her abduction ended all her dreams for Dana. "My baby... no babies...," she said, over and over again as Fox held her. She knew that Dana eventually wanted to have a baby. They had discussed it many times over the years; like so many of her generation, Dana had always thought of it as something there would be time to do in some far off future. And now, that future had been violently taken from her. Her daughter would never experience all that Margaret had experienced with her children. It seemed so unfair that she had been blessed with four, but now neither of her daughters would ever have the chance to share this wonder. Melissa -- dead, and Dana -- infertile. Fox stayed with her for a long time, while she cried. She had been through many dark days in the past few years: Bill's sudden death, Dana's abduction and the subsequent heart-wrenching decisions that had to be made, Melissa's brutal death, and, Dana's cancer diagnosis. She didn't think things could get any worse, but an even darker moment was now coming: the day they told Dana was the worst day of her life. There should be only so much pain a person should have to bear, she thought. Dana was so stoic, so brave, not even crying when she and Fox jointly told her. After a while, she'd just shrugged her shoulders, turned away, and walked into her bedroom, as the vial Fox had brought to show her dropped to the floor. Since that day, Margaret Scully did not ever see her daughter cry about what she'd learned, and Dana made it clear it was not a subject for discussion. After Fox brought her back to her home, Margaret Scully prayed. It was what her faith taught, something she often thought about, but now she wasn't sure she really believed. After a few days, she realized that subconsciously her mind had been very busy, searching for miracles. And then, the solution came to her. It seemed so obvious: she would do the research, find out what Dana's options might be. And if, no when, she found something, she'd be able to make her girl feel all better, by letting her know there was hope. Just like Fox had: he'd been the one to research all possible treatment options, making the choices easier for Dana to make. That had given Dana hope, hope to carry on. Extreme possibilities -- after all, with science today, who knew what could be possible? Didn't Adrienne Barbeau just have twins at 51? And then there were the twins born to a 59 year old Englishwoman, given fertility treatment by Italian doctors... She even fantasized she herself might carry a baby for Dana... ****************************************************************** Fertility Clinic Two Weeks Later 10:45 AM Consultation Margaret Scully sat across from the doctor. Dr. Wilson was an older woman, very business-like, but seemed friendly. Her desk was neat, with a pile of brochures neatly stacked to one side. "So you are interested in donor egg fertility treatments?" she asked, flipping through some charts. "In all honesty, if you really want a child at your age, the best route is a donor egg from a younger woman." Margaret Scully swallowed. "It's... it's for someone else, someone... she would be carrying the child." "And that someone is... very close...? Related?" "Yes," she replied, softly. "And this person is sterile?" Dr. Wilson continued. Margaret Scully shook her head in assent. "Well let me tell you about our donor program." "Yes, I am interested, where you find these women?" Margaret Scully replied. "Ah," replied Dr. Wilson, "we really have no problem finding donors. You know, most donors, even unrelated ones, are motivated by a strong sense of altruism to help others. This is in spite of the fact that they have to undergo procedures of not inconsiderate discomfort and potential danger. May I ask your relation to the potential recipient?" "My daughter," Margaret replied. "Your daughter? So, are you considering mother-to-daughter- donation? I have to tell you, there is no precedence for this in the literature. Now we have had several instances of sister-to-sister donation, but most are unrelated." Margaret Scully's eyes threatened to fill with tears, but she managed to pull herself together. "No, I had not considered this. I have not even spoken to my daughter, she... had an...accident and I am trying to find out information to provide her with options." "I see." "Dr. Wilson," Margaret continued, "can you tell me what is involved?" The doctor answered, "The first part involves the donor. She is put on stimulant drugs, and comes in for an ultrasound. When the ovarian follicles are mature, we take a blood test. This will check for adequate hormone secretion, meaning that ovulation is triggered. The donor then receives an injection of Gonadottropin Chorionic hormone (hCG) at a precise time." "This certainly sounds complicated!" Mrs. Scully was taking notes. "Yes," continued the doctor, "and it is a precise science. Schedule is everything, since it determines the timing of the ova retrieval. In fact, the hCG injection occurs at night, between 10PM and midnight. The ova retrieval occurs in the morning of the second day following the injection." "Does it hurt them?" "The usual minor pain or discomfort. No need for a general anesthetic, but they are given medication for minor pain or discomfort." "OK. Now what happens after, ummm, retrieval? Do they go into the deep freeze?" "No, that's not quite how it works! Of course, this is where the partner's presence is necessary! Sperm collection takes place here." Margaret Scully realized she hadn't fully thought this through. "Mrs. Scully?" the doctor asked, aware that her patient's attention had wandered. "Uh yes..." Dr. Wilson smiled at her. "This would be your daughter's partner, right?" Margaret Scully replied, "Well there is no... partner at this time." "Oh. Then she'd be interested to know that we also offer anonymous sperm donation. But let me tell you what happens after retrieval," she said with a smile. "The day after pickup, an embryologist will examine the eggs. The actual number of embryos obtained will be known only on the following day. So there is a wait before we know if there will be an embryo transfer. However, 90% will become embryos." The doctor paused momentarily, allowing Margaret to catch up with her note-taking. "Transfer is done simply and painlessly through the natural path. It is done in the same room used for ovum pick up." Margaret Scully had a few more questions. "Can they be frozen?" "Actually," said Dr. Wilson, "in order to increase chances for pregnancy, up to 3 embryos are transferred at the same time. If more embryos are available, you can have them frozen. But the chances of conception are best with fresh product." "Then, fourteen days after the transfer, your daughter... umm... the recipient, would come in for a blood test to know if she is pregnant." "What would she have to do to prepare for this?" "She would be put on a special hormone -- progesterone. Do you have any other questions, Mrs. Scully?" she asked, glancing at the clock. Their consult was over. "No, this has been very informative. I never realized it was so technical, yet so simple." "Mrs. Scully, thank you, and I hope we can be of help to you and your daughter." Dr. Wilson handed her some brochures. "Thank you, Doctor!" Margaret Scully said, shaking the doctor's hand and walking into the reception area. --End Part 1/2-- From emass@primenet.com Tue Apr 08 12:58:15 1997 Subject: NEW: Intentions and Unexpected Results (2/2) From: Esther Massimini -------- DATE: April 8, 1997 TITLE: NEW: Intentions and Unexpected Results (2/2) AUTHOR: Esther Massimini EMAIL ADDRESS: emass@primenet.com DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Archive where ever you like, just keep my name with it. SPOILER WARNING: Everything up through "Memento Mori." Takes place in the future after "Memento Mori." RATING: PG for mild language. CONTENT WARNING: MSR. Mrs. Scully angst, Mulder angst. CLASSIFICATION: S, R, A SUMMARY: Mrs. Scully ponders her daughter's future after her cancer is successfully treated. In light of the disturbing news Mulder discovered at Lombard, she comes up with some ideas for Scully with the best of intentions. However, her disclosure of these to Mulder leads to unexpected results. DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and characters belong to FOX, Chris Carter, 1013. I am not making any money from this story. I have a great job as an engineer, thank you! No infringements are intended. Part 2/2 ***************************************************************** One Week Later Fox Mulder's Apartment 7:00 PM "Hello, Mrs. Scully!" Mulder greeted her with a smile. "It's good to see you. I've missed you lately." Mulder truly cared for Scully's mother, but lately, since Scully had gotten so much better, they had not seen each other as often. There was a bond between them, ever since the time she had so lovingly and generously included him as family when Scully's life hung in the balance. "Fox," Margaret said simply, "it's always good to be with you. You mean so much to all of us." The way she spoke to him made Mulder feel uncharacteristically good, down to the core of his soul. Margaret entered his apartment and sat down. Even though she had come to discuss a rather personal subject, Fox always seemed to put her at ease. It was no wonder Dana spoke so highly of him. Margaret could tell he was a man of sensitivity and integrity. Nevertheless, she had rehearsed their discussion a thousand times since the clinic visit. Mulder sensed her discomfort and reached out, holding her hand, "Is it Dana?" He was scared, maybe she had relapsed? "Yes, and... no, not directly. Listen. Please." From her purse, she pulled out an assortment of brochures and papers, placing them face down on her lap. "Oh God, Mrs. Scully, it IS Dana, what's happened?" he quietly pleaded. Mulder felt sick, very sick. "Fox... Dana's fine." Margaret noticed that Fox had grabbed her hands and was desperately searching her eyes with his own. She squeezed her hands tightly over his. And began to talk. About Dana's future. About what she'd learned during her research. Mulder was astounded. Mrs. Scully had done extensive research into the ways Scully might eventually have a family. And she chose to come to him with the ideas, to sound him out and ask for his help, in giving hope to Scully. The idea filled him with wonder, but also with profound sadness. For the first time in his life, he understood the depths of a mother's love -- and keenly felt the lack of it in his own. Mrs. Scully handed him a brochure, which he skimmed. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up. "Umm, so the egg donor would be anonymous, and ummm, you would then go get a... donor... sperm donor?" He felt suddenly very uncomfortable and awkward talking about biological functions with a "mother-figure". He was also concerned about Scully, her health. "And don't you think it would be a physical strain on Scully?" he added. "No, they say Dana could do it. And after what happened, I mean with her... abduction, not being able to have her own kids, this way she could carry a child and experience the pregnancy and giving birth." "But... what if she's not strong enough?" he asked with concern. Margaret replied, "In a pinch I'd gladly do it for her." She gave him an annoyed look, then laughed. "It HAS been done before, you know..." Mulder sat silently, once again, for a few minutes. He looked over more of the notes Mrs. Scully had brought. "But with an anonymous donor..." Mulder continued. The thought of Scully carrying a child that was not her own, and also one fathered by someone anonymous, made him distinctly uncomfortable. His voice trailed off as he noticed how tense Mrs. Scully seemed. At the same time, there was a strange look of extreme hope in her eyes -- and then he figured out the reason. "I... I... I don't know. I think Scully would be overwhelmed and really appreciate everything you've found out. But I can't see that she would have a child with someone she did not..." he could not continue. "...love." Margaret responded. "I mean, the few times she mentioned it to me, it seemed very important to her. And I, well I can't see it." "Because?" Her question caught him by surprise. "I... I..." "You love Dana." Scully's mother added, simply. He sat, mute, stunned. Loving Scully. Or becoming a father. It was something he really had never consciously thought about, mainly because he felt so sure he would never be worthy enough for a woman to love him in that way. Let alone someone as wonderful as Scully. Hell, he couldn't even be trusted to watch over an 8 year old when his parents were just next door -- how could he be trusted with a small life? The only time he had considered it was when he and Scully had been in Home, Pennsylvania, when he had jokingly described his genetic pedigree... and yet, there was one other time. Suddenly it became clear to him why he felt so sad when he discovered what they had done to Scully. It was not just that Scully's chance at being a biological parent had been stolen, but he realized, because he... loved her. Unknown to him, a small smile had formed on his lips. Margaret Scully reached out to him, clasped his hands, and said, "You love Dana." Mulder looked at her with surprise. "You know?" he whispered. "For a long time," she nodded. "Dana and I... well we talk. She has told me so much about you, Fox, and then I've also had the chance to see for myself... When Bill died, for example, Dana told me how kind and concerned you were for her. Much more than merely being a partner. And when she was lost to us..." her voice choked, "when you went to her bedside and told her you were there for her. You never gave up on her Fox, you never gave up..." "It can't be..." "Yes, Fox, it can. Look at how you've been during her illness. You stayed with her throughout, held her head when she vomited, cleaned up after her, and held her when she was scared. A coworker, a mere partner, does not do these things. A work partner does not lovingly gather up her lost hair, take her shopping for head coverings, and shield her from prying coworkers. A coworker does not reduce his workload, his focus... No Fox, I'd say you've been more devoted to my daughter than the average husband..." "But it can't be. She couldn't love me," he answered. "She does." "Scully told you?" "Every time she speaks of you, Fox. And I see it in the way she looks at you. The way she shares things with you, before me or anyone else in her family." "I don't deserve her... don't deserve her trust... or her love." "But she gives them. Freely. And my daughter is not stupid. She would not throw away the most precious part of herself." "But she's never said anything..." he replied. "Fox, I'm sure you've noticed that Dana is an extraordinarily private person." Mulder chuckled. "Yeah, sometimes she reacts to the worst of circumstances by not reaching out to anyone," he remarked, thinking back to when he'd rescued her from Gerry Schnauz. Margaret Scully continued, "She's always been rather guarded; of all my children I think our military lifestyle was the hardest on her. She learned early on not to invest too much of herself in anyone, because either she or they would soon move on." "But I won't ever leave her!" he protested. "She's afraid, Fox. She needs to believe in you, and she does. Dana has told me so many times about how vigilantly you pursue what's right and true. Oh Fox, I saw it myself when she was gone! You did not give up! And she so admires the courage you show, standing up for your beliefs! That's why she went to jail for you." "Yeah, I'm sure that's the type of man you'd want with your daughter, someone who causes her to go to jail..." Mulder answered, bitterly. "Fox, I was proud of her! So proud when I saw her on C-SPAN, standing up to that Congressional Committee! And she did it not only out of admiration, but out of love. She told me, Fox." "Then why hasn't she told me?" "Dana's frustrated, Fox. Frustrated because she doesn't know for sure if she means anything to you, if she is as important as the other things you care about. And she's scared." Scared. Mulder understood that emotion well. It was getting late. "Fox, I know you're a man of decision, of action. I'm just Dana's mother, but... well let me be blunt. You may hold a Ph.D. and Dana may be a doctor, but sometimes I swear the two of you have the social skills of... of... well, nerds. None at all!" Mulder winced, and ruefully grinned. "I think the two of you need someone to push each other together. Why not take the first step?" "Yeah," he replied, "maybe... but what if she doesn't want me?" "Tell you what. Tomorrow is the beginning of a three day weekend, and you know, Dana will be coming to visit with me. I will be just as blunt with her as I have with you, and maybe, just maybe... I'll be able to talk some sense into her! After all, I am her mother and she has to listen to me!" Margaret Scully laughed. She got up and gathered up all the papers and brochures. "Well, this was certainly a waste," she gestured. Mulder replied, "No. No. I think it is good to see that Scully has... options... she may not have considered. I'd like to keep this and maybe show it to her sometime in the future." "OK," Margaret said, as she reached out to him, hugged him, and said, "I'll talk with Dana this weekend. And you, think about it. Think of Dana. Fox -- trust me. Trust her." "Always, Mrs. Scully, always..." he whispered as he hugged her goodbye. ****************************************************************************** Later that Night Fox Mulder's Apartment Midnight Scully. He loved her. He could actually think it -- think the feeling he'd known was there. He whispered, "I love you..." out loud, to test how it would feel coming out of him... Mulder sat, in the dark, thinking. When had he started loving her? When he first met her, sure she was attractive, but for God's sake, she was a damn spy! A distraction, to keep him from his quest. God, he'd been so blind. She was right there all along. And then he lost her, when they took her. His life was hell, but he found her again, would not give up even when her loved ones had... no, he couldn't, wouldn't give up on someone he loved! And trusts. And he had nearly lost her again, just now, to cancer. Mulder's thoughts drifted back to that terrible haunted night in Allentown Hospital. Staying in the hall all night, waiting for her, because she needed him... no, because he needed her. But what could he give, offer her? Hell, he wanted to give her every gift in the world. Not just a keychain. OK, he had taken her out on that date for her birthday, but that had been partly motivated by guilt over her cancer. He always thought that she probably just thought of him in a brotherly sort of way. But his feelings were anything but brotherly. No, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved her. His Scully, the one person who gave his life meaning. His strength. But he also knew Scully. Scully would definitely put up big walls over this. He wouldn't ever want to force her into anything, either. ************************************************************************ In Their Office The Following Tuesday Around Noon Mulder sat back in his chair, feet up on his desk. He peered over the rim of his glasses at Scully. He had been covertly sneaking glances at her all morning, and so had not gotten a thing done. He was sure Mrs. Scully had kept up her end of the bargain and had spoken with her, but Scully was not talking. In fact, come to think of it, Scully was acting kind of strange herself. One moment, she seemed to be studiously avoiding him, the next, he'd catch her looking at him. For the next few minutes, their eyes played cat-and-mouse with each other. Finally, Scully sighed, and got up, and locked their office door. Mulder was surprised, but managed to control himself. Which was very difficult, since Scully was wearing his favorite blue pantsuit, and her hair was growing back nicely after her treatments. She looked really cute. Then she went and sat back down at her desk. "Mulder..." she said, "so tell me. Are we eloping or going all out for a big wedding?" Mulder's heart swelled. He tried to control his smile but couldn't. So Mrs. Scully HAD talked with Scully, and apparently, quite successfully. He chewed on a sunflower seed for a moment, then retorted, "So, lunch? It's noon." Scully laughed. "Mulder, I just kind of asked you to marry me in so many words!" Mulder grinned, then reached into his desk and pulled out a brochure from the drawer. "Graceland Chapel, Las Vegas, Nevada, with an Elvis impersonator." Scully's smile grew wide. "I take it that's a yes." Mulder tried to nod, but couldn't. Her smile was just so breathtaking. He continued to watch her. They were still sitting at their respective desks. Mulder leaned back again, lacing his fingers behind his neck, and stared at her. His hands were clasped tightly together, so he could control the trembling. Around Scully, it was just so hard to maintain a cool exterior, he thought. "Yes. With one caveat," Mulder responded. He sat up, stood and moved toward her. Leaning over her desk, he added, "you can't have a wedding without the...ummm...carnal pleasures." "Mulderrrrrr..." "But Agent Scully... I haven't even kissed you yet... or..." "Shhh...," she said, as she moved towards him. She'd had enough, she'd shown enough restraint, and the door was locked. She pulled herself up on the desk, towards him, and silenced him with her mouth, their lips hungrily exploring new territory. After what seemed too short a time, they both started laughing. "Agent Scully, do you realize that your... behavior is against Bureau sexual harassment policy? You're putting yourself on the line here..." "I would never put myself on the line for anyone but you..." she replied, smiling. "Bless your mom," he responded, pulling her close. Resting his cheek against hers, he continued, "She came over to talk to me about something totally different, and ended up pushing me to you." "And me to you, too" Scully responded. Mulder could not believe that she was in his arms, here, in their office, on her desk! And all thanks to Mrs. Scully, who'd come to him with one intention, and ended up with decidedly unexpected results. He pulled away, and looked into Scully's eyes. "Put in for leave this afternoon, " he said. "We need to talk." Scully smiled her most beautiful smile back at him, nodding in agreement. Fox Mulder felt hopeful, a feeling he was not accustomed to. And he thought of all the good things that were to come... and of the information Mrs. Scully had shared with him. There would be hope, and there would be time. And most of all, there would be Scully. --The End--